Kathryn Elizabeth Jones

I'll always remember yesterday. But never in a fond way. I was out on a date with Grant. I though he was cool. He and I, we both thought alike. We belonged to the same church, were both Christians, and ye…something was missing on our date.
To begin with, only the day after Grant had asked me out, we were standing in line for basketball tickets.
Grant talked and talked…and I listened. When we were seated, I couldn't concentrate on the game. I guess I wouldn't be totally honest if I didn't tell you I was hoping he'd hold my hand. He didn't. He just sat there, concentrating on the stupid game.
When Grant too me home, we didn't talk much. I knew then he didn't like me. At least not enough to ask me out again…
* * *
I liked Andrea a lot. I saw her in the hall at school almost every day, and every week at church. But until the day before our date, I hadn't talked with her much.
When I got up the nerve to ask her out, she was standing by her locker. I walked up to her. She turned around suddenly, bumping into me. I didn't mind.
I asked her then, "Wanna go out tomorrow night?"
She hesitated. "Tomorrow…oh…I don't know. I guess. But call me after school to make sure."
I did. And we went to this great ball game the next night! Andrea didn't talk much while standing in line for tickets, so I tried to say whatever came to me. Some of it must have sounded pretty stupid…but what was I supposed to do?
I don't think Andrea enjoyed the game. Most of the time she wasn't even paying attention. She was looking at the floor, walls, other people…even me. (When she thought I wasn't looking.)
I wanted to hold her hand, but I didn't think she'd want me to. Andrea seemed bored, and I was sure she didn't like me. I was even more sure when she said a quick goodbye and walked into her house.
* * *
Plan to Succeed
Sound familiar?
Of course nobody really plans to fail on dates. But often they do just that. And why? Because most dates aren't really planned. Most of us think about doing something on a date but seldom anything worth remembering; nothing to make positive memories with.
How about doing something out of the ordinary?
1. Think of "…something fun and unusual that (you) wouldn't do with (your) friends or family" (Andrea 14). You wouldn't ask your mom to go roller-skating on the sidewalk would you?
2. Delve into your past. Did you enjoy catching frogs as a kid? Why not ring this past time to the present and have a frog jumping contest?
3. Take a common idea and make it unusual. "Watching TV can be fun if you…do something before or after it…(like) making your own dinner, playing a game…" (Tricia, 15)
4. Try double dating, or group dating if it's a first date. Because "…if your date is boring, you have other people to talk to" (Susan, 20); "It's more relaxing" (Stephen, 23); and "You can do more" (Shantel, 14).

What's a Girl to Do?
How should you accept a date? When is it OK to turn a guy down? Here are some hints from guys:
1. "A simple yes or no will suffice." (Ken, 19)
2. "If she's excited, she should show it!" (Derek, 23)
3. Don't lead guys on. If you don't want to go out, say so.
4. If you can't (honestly) go out this particular time, let the guy know you'd really like to go out at another time.
5. "If creativity was involved in the invitation, then respond creatively." (Stephe, 23)

How does a guy like a girl to act on a date? "I like a girl who…"

1. likes to talk, but not too much.
2. enjoys a variety of activities.
3. doesn't put up a front. She is herself.
4. is comfortable to be with. Someone I like to be around.
5. respects herself. Likes herself.
6. doesn't brag about other dates she's been on.
7. doesn't gob on too much makeup.
8. listens to me.

When should you ask a guy out on a date? Here are some tips:

*Think about it first. He might be the type of guy who thinks a girl who asks a guy out is forward. You might loose him.
*Ask casually. In the hall, after class, during an assembly at school. Don't make a big deal of it, even if you think it is. Think of asking him as you would your girlfriend when inviting her over to dinner.
*Don't commit yourself. You might find, as you talk with him, that he's not your type after all. Be casual enough to say good-bye (quick) if you have to.
*If it's a "girl's choice" activity, however, let your creativity flow.

Winning a Girl's Heart

How should you ask her out? What does it take to win her heart? Good looks? Hardly. Here are some ideas from girls.

1. "Get to know me first, then ask me."
2. "Ask if I have any plans for the evening. Then ask."
3. "Be straightforward. Get to the point. Sometimes guys will call and talk for an hour before they ask me out. I'd rather they ask me out, and then talk for an hour."
4. "I'd like to know where we'll be going."
5. "Don't ask me at the last minute. Give me at least a couple of days warning."

How does a girl like a guy to act on a date? Here are some answers from girls: "I like a guy who…"

1. doesn't brag about himself.
2. talks. But not a lot.
3. listens to the things I'm interested in.
4. has fun but doesn't show off.
5. shows by the way he dresses that he likes himself.
6. treats me like someone special.
7. doesn't expect me to be his girlfriend after only one date.

Published in Bread Magazine, February 1989.

Kathryn Elizabeth Jones
	*Author of "A River of Stones"*
	*A Novel for Young Adults*
	*"Dating 101"*
	I'll always remember yesterday. But never in a fond way. I was out on a date with Grant. I though he was cool. He and I, we both thought alike. We belonged to the same church, were both Christians, and ye…something was missing on our date. To begin with, only the day after Grant had asked me out, we were standing in line for basketball tickets. Grant talked and talked…and I listened. When we were seated, I couldn't concentrate on the game. I guess I wouldn't be totally honest if I didn't tell you I was hoping he'd hold my hand. He didn't. He just sat there, concentrating on the stupid game. When Grant too me home, we didn't talk much. I knew then he didn't like me. At least not enough to ask me out again… * * * I liked Andrea a lot. I saw her in the hall at school almost every day, and every week at church. But until the day before our date, I hadn't talked with her much. When I got up the nerve to ask her out, she was standing by her locker. I walked up to her. She turned around suddenly, bumping into me. I didn't mind. I asked her then, "Wanna go out tomorrow night?" She hesitated. "Tomorrow…oh…I don't know. I guess. But call me after school to make sure." I did. And we went to this great ball game the next night! Andrea didn't talk much while standing in line for tickets, so I tried to say whatever came to me. Some of it must have sounded pretty stupid…but what was I supposed to do? I don't think Andrea enjoyed the game. Most of the time she wasn't even paying attention. She was looking at the floor, walls, other people…even me. (When she thought I wasn't looking.) I wanted to hold her hand, but I didn't think she'd want me to. Andrea seemed bored, and I was sure she didn't like me. I was even more sure when she said a quick goodbye and walked into her house. * * * Plan to Succeed Sound familiar? Of course nobody really plans to fail on dates. But often they do just that. And why? Because most dates aren't really planned. Most of us think about doing something on a date but seldom anything worth remembering; nothing to make positive memories with. How about doing something out of the ordinary? 1. Think of "…something fun and unusual that (you) wouldn't do with (your) friends or family" (Andrea 14). You wouldn't ask your mom to go roller-skating on the sidewalk would you? 2. Delve into your past. Did you enjoy catching frogs as a kid? Why not ring this past time to the present and have a frog jumping contest? 3. Take a common idea and make it unusual. "Watching TV can be fun if you…do something before or after it…(like) making your own dinner, playing a game…" (Tricia, 15) 4. Try double dating, or group dating if it's a first date. Because "…if your date is boring, you have other people to talk to" (Susan, 20); "It's more relaxing" (Stephen, 23); and "You can do more" (Shantel, 14). What's a Girl to Do? How should you accept a date? When is it OK to turn a guy down? Here are some hints from guys: 1. "A simple yes or no will suffice." (Ken, 19) 2. "If she's excited, she should show it!" (Derek, 23) 3. Don't lead guys on. If you don't want to go out, say so. 4. If you can't (honestly) go out this particular time, let the guy know you'd really like to go out at another time. 5. "If creativity was involved in the invitation, then respond creatively." (Stephe, 23) How does a guy like a girl to act on a date? "I like a girl who…" 1. likes to talk, but not too much. 2. enjoys a variety of activities. 3. doesn't put up a front. She is herself. 4. is comfortable to be with. Someone I like to be around. 5. respects herself. Likes herself. 6. doesn't brag about other dates she's been on. 7. doesn't gob on too much makeup. 8. listens to me. When should you ask a guy out on a date? Here are some tips: Think about it first. He might be the type of guy who thinks a girl who asks a guy out is forward. You might loose him. Ask casually. In the hall, after class, during an assembly at school. Don't make a big deal of it, even if you think it is. Think of asking him as you would your girlfriend when inviting her over to dinner. Don't commit yourself. You might find, as you talk with him, that he's not your type after all. Be casual enough to say good-bye (quick) if you have to. If it's a "girl's choice" activity, however, let your creativity flow. Winning a Girl's Heart How should you ask her out? What does it take to win her heart? Good looks? Hardly. Here are some ideas from girls. 1. "Get to know me first, then ask me." 2. "Ask if I have any plans for the evening. Then ask." 3. "Be straightforward. Get to the point. Sometimes guys will call and talk for an hour before they ask me out. I'd rather they ask me out, and then talk for an hour." 4. "I'd like to know where we'll be going." 5. "Don't ask me at the last minute. Give me at least a couple of days warning." How does a girl like a guy to act on a date? Here are some answers from girls: "I like a guy who…" 1. doesn't brag about himself. 2. talks. But not a lot. 3. listens to the things I'm interested in. 4. has fun but doesn't show off. 5. shows by the way he dresses that he likes himself. 6. treats me like someone special. 7. doesn't expect me to be his girlfriend after only one date. Published in Bread Magazine, February 1989.